We Are All Guitar Hero's... However You Are Not...

What do you get an 18 year old, uncoordinated, occasionally psycho (brought about by the company she keeps), stressed out from exams, girl for Christmas?... A game that requires the use of both your hands doing completely opposite things, with levels so frustrating that the controller was hurled at the TV, not a long 50 seconds it was out of the box...

4 years ago, some gave me a dance mat... You know the one... That plastic mat with different colours and shapes on it, that you plug into your TV and dance along to Pac Man music, by stepping on the right colour or shape that comes up on the screen. Now I don't have two left feet, I have two right feet that I use as means of getting about and occasionally dressing them in unnecessarily expensive shoes. So that game lasted no longer than 30 seconds, before I ripped it out of the TV and attempted to set fire to it (still an undiagnosed Pyromania problem that I have...). However this Guitar Hero is a whole other can of frustration.

You would think wouldn't you that because I play an actual guitar, Guitar Hero should have been a walk over. Well... Walk Over my ass. Never in my life have I felt such an overwhelming urge to break an instrument. I always secretly winced with pain every time I saw a Rockstar *cough* Pete Townshend, smash his beautiful guitars on stage. But by god I wanted to smash this piece of plastic crap into oblivion. Even set on the slowest of slow the game refused to accept that I was pressing the correct buttons.

To top it all off, I watched a review of Guitar Hero on YouTube done by... A 8 year old Asain kid. And guess what this kid, was playing really well... On expert level. EXPERT LEVEL!!! And his review was that and I quote,
"It's soooo Easy. It only took me a 15 minutes to complete the level."
I once clicked on Expert level just to see what it was like, and instantly I was bombarded with a multi technicolour rainbow of buttons. And it was all all at the same time. I didn't even last 1/2 a second before I was successively booed off stage. 15 minutes? I wouldn't pass that level if you gave me 15 years.

Anyone can be a Guitar Hero... But not if your name is Rae.